Caught Unaware
by Boisterous Hal
Summary: Sylar is up to no good. He shoots various people with his water pistol. Crack.


Summary: Sylar is up to no good. He goes around shooting various people with his water pistol. Crack.

Author's note: Three words: "Wet and Shiny". Yes, petrelli heiress's fic published in July 2009 (had it been that long already?) inspired this fic. I should mention that this is not Pylar. If there's anything that puts most people's minds in the gutter, it's imagining their favourite people/TV or film characters wearing wet T-shirts. That's all I'm going to say on that.

Warning: Low to medium level violence, and wet hotness.

Disclaimer: I do not own Heroes. If I did, then a whole episode would look like this fic. Not such a good idea, I think you'll find.

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**Caught Unaware**

Little Noah was caught unaware.

He was in his bedroom, quietly writing in his exercise book, when he was hit in the back of the neck by a stream of water. Spinning arond quickly, he saw his father laughing softly, brandishing his water pistol.

"Daaaaaaad!" Noah wailed, "I was doing my homework!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sylar replied, in a tone which wasn't very contrite. "You're not the only one with problems. I happen to be very bored."

"I can see that. Can't you find a less...disruptive hobby?"

"No, because shooting water at people is fun. I'm off to find another victim." Sylar left. Noah groaned as water dripped down his back, wetting his T-shirt. It was just his rotten luck to have an immature father. When he turned 18, he would move out immediately.

Elle was caught unaware.

She was in the kitchen, peeling carrots. One moment, her arms and hands were dry, and the next moment they were not. Looking up to see her husband innocently holding his water pistol, she glared. She had specifically banned water pistols inside the house. Noah was a good boy and did everything she said, but Sylar was anything but obedient. She would teach him a lesson he wouldn't soon forget.

Dropping the peeler, she began to shoot sparks out of her hand, directed at her infuriating husband. Of course, electricity and water don't mix and she was immediately writhing on the floor, in a world of pain. Sylar bent over her, concerned. "I'm sorry, honey. Are you all right?" Elle immediately answered, by kicking him in the shins. The tall man fell to the floor in pain, and Elle attempted to beat him into a Sylar shaped pulp. Unsurprisingly, Sylar overpowered his wife. The aggressiveness was soon replaced by passion, and they kissed and performed naughty acts on the kitchen floor. That's right kids, close your eyes and cover your ears, the parents are out of control again.

Claire was caught unaware.

She was sitting in front of the mirror, brushing her beautiful hair, when she suddenly felt water hit the back of her head. Her cheerleading uniform was soon well and truly wet by the time Sylar had sprayed her up and down. Shrieking, because a) she had only one change of uniform and would now be late for cheerleading practice and b) Sylar was tormenting her again, she lunged at him and proceeded to pummel her puny fists against his chest. Sylar stood there and took it, because, well, getting punched by attractive females was a favourite past time of his, besides shooting people with his water pistol. Yep, his mind = cRaZy.

After 10 minutes of aimless punching Sylar in the same place, Claire got tired. Sylar got bored, and ran off to find another victim.

Mr. Muggles was caught unaware.

He was feeding from his blue doggie bowl, unaware of everything happening around him, and the next thing he knew, he was drenched from nose to tail. He enjoyed his doggie bath, but bath time was the only time when he relished getting wet. He looked up quickly, and saw The Man. It was the same man who had tricked his way into the Bennet home not so long ago, and threatened Sandra.

With a yelp, Mr. Muggles ran for it, with Sylar in hot pursuit. Fortunately, Sandra, with Super Soaker loaded and at the ready, stepped through a doorway just as Mr. Muggles ran through it. Sandra had been practising her aim since the Sylar Incident, and she had been waiting for this moment.

"You mess with Mr. Muggles, you mess with me," she said menacingly, before firing straight into the spot been Sylar's eyebrows. Sylar attempted to return fire, but was soon out of ammo. Taking cover behind various pieces of furniture, he managed to make it out the front door.

"...and stay out!" Sandra screamed, as she waved her Super Soaker triumphantly in the air. Mama Bennet sure knew how to kick butt when the time was right.

Matt was caught unaware.

He was almost caught aware, but by the time he had read Sylar's thoughts, which went something along the lines of "Muhahahaha", it was too late. Nobody would wet his police officer's uniform and get away with it. He chased Sylar down the street, and called for back-up on his walkie-talkie thingy, because you know, that's what cops do on television. Matt didn't catch Sylar, because the latter was too cunning and quick to be caught so easily. The policeman vowed not to use his ability ever again, since it had caused so much trouble, but that might soon have to change.

Hiro was caught unaware.

After being sprayed from head to toe, Hiro froze time. Taking the water pistol away from Sylar, he aimed it at the other man's chest and unfroze time. Soon enough, Sylar joined Hiro in what is known in Engrish as "Water Pistol - you fire it - it adds hotness to wet, happy fun time". Kimiko, being Hiro's ever-so-sensible elder sister, was not impressed to see her brother engaging in horseplay with yet another _gai-jin_, but it was what she had come to expect. She could thank her brother (and Sylar, though she was loathe to admit it) for one thing though, which was the successful addition of a water pistol product line to Yamagato Industries' range. Ando pouted, as Hiro and Sylar stole all of the glory yet again.

Mohinder was caught unaware.

He was writing up laboratory notes in his office. He was dry one second, and the next, he was not. With water dripping from his impressive hair, the geneticist narrowed his eyes as he stared down his nemesis and pulled out his own water pistol from his top drawer. The neighbours were quite irate to be woken up by the riotous water fight (it was after midnight) but Mohinder and Sylar were too busy having fun to notice. Having both been thoroughly saturated, they decided to call it a draw and turned in for the night.

Tracy was caught unaware.

She was not impressed by Sylar's impertinence. She froze all of the water in his pistol and smiled sweetly, in the same way that sharks smile sweetly when going in for the kill. Sylar said "eek", and ran away screaming like a school girl who had a bug placed on her back by one of those nasty school boys.

Peter was caught unaware.

He was ready to leave home for his shift when a knock came at the door. Opening the door, expecting Nathan or Angela, he was instead greeted by a stream of water. Growling, he picked up his fully loaded water pistol from the table, and said, "This means war". Never mind that he could be late for his shift, and people could die as a result. He had a score to settle, and his opponent would feel slow, watery pain. Angela would be so proud that he was carrying on the great Petrelli tradition of settling-a-score-as-an-excuse-to-not-do-work.

**The End**

**When temperatures rise above 35 degrees Celsius, fan fics like this result. Yep, hot weather leads to cRaZiNeSS, you mark my words.**

**Review please. My right big toe is particularly interested in hearing your thoughts.**


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